Little Girls With ADHD: Damaging Stereotypes & Systematic Failures // Calico Boyle
The Youtube video does not belong to Magical Women and is included in this article to show how ADHD presents differently in girls.
Calico Boyle explores the damaging stereotypes and systematic failures around the forgotten girls with ADHD.
I recently asked some friends to describe a typical child with ADHD. I doubt you’d be surprised to hear that the answer to my question was mostly met with tales of naughty little boys who were unable to sit still, who were disruptive and prone to angry outbursts. Pre-diagnosis I probably would have given you the same answer. This little boy is real, it is likely that as I describe him you are brought back to your own school experiences. We’ve all had a little boy like this in our class.
“But what about the girls? ”
Recent research has proved that ADHD is just as likely to be present in girls as it is boys. So why are girls less likely to be diagnosed in childhood and why is there an alarming rise of grown women getting diagnosed later in life?
One theory is that our symptoms are more subtle. Not everyone who has ADHD presents as hyperactive. Studies have found that girls are more prone to having the inattentive aspect of the disorder meaning they will present differently to their male counterparts.
Photograph by Annie Spratt
Instead of being naughty or disruptive, they may be forgetful, easily distracted and careless with their work. I myself exhibit inattentive traits with my ADHD and my school reports echo these symptoms as a common theme. Because inattentive girls are typically easier to manage than hyperactive boys, their parents and teachers are less likely to take action.
Their symptoms are often mistaken for character flaws which they will grow out of with encouragement and correction.
It’s important to note that despite what the studies suggest, not all girls are on the inattentive side of the spectrum. I have combined ADHD. This means that I am both hyperactive and inattentive.
As a child my hyperactivity in the classroom was demonstrated by excessive talking and fidgeting. A good friend of mine who was diagnosed with severe ADHD at the age of 7 presented differently. He would shout, play the class clown and get up when he wasn’t supposed to. As a male, he took up more space, he was noticed and he got the treatment he needed. Little girls who are excessively chatty or forgetful are often dismissed because in comparison, they are seen as less problematic.
Due to the lack of research on the variation of symtoms they are more likely to slip through the net and left to suffer in silence. This systematic failure means that many of them will go without treatment until adulthood while facing a lifetime of critique over things that they have no tools to deal with.
Without intervention, women and girls with ADHD face huge risks when navigating life. An undiagnosed girl is more likely to have to retake her exams whereas a boy with a confirmed diagnosis will be given additional support. A lesser known trait of ADHD is perfectionism so whilst these girls can achieve great things they have to work much harder than their neurotypical peers.
An undiagnosed girl will face daily feedback on her shortcomings, she will face frustration at the hands of her loved ones and she will go through life not understanding why she can’t be like everyone else. Because of this, developing esteem issues is highly probable.
It’s not hard to see why so many of us as grown women who are living with ADHD have adopted ‘masking’ as a means to compensate for our symptoms. We are taught from an early age that who we are by default is not good enough. However, masking in this way takes an inevitable toll.
When our ADHD is overlooked, self regulation and management becomes a greater issue as we enter adulthood. Women living with untreated ADHD are more likely to develop drug and alcohol addictions, eating disorders, low self esteem, anxiety and depression.
Jen Theodore
Societal expectations and gender stereotypes are also very damaging when it comes to being a woman living with this disorder. In family dynamics, women are expected to be the primary parent at home, the organiser, the housekeeper, the ones who remember birthdays, anniversaries, bills, shopping lists, home work deadlines and social events.
As we move into an age where we have workplace equality, we are also expected to achieve this whilst holding down a successful career. These are unrealistic expectations for most neurotypical women but even harder for women with ADHD. It’s important that we understand that these gender stereotypes are damaging not just to women with ADHD but to feminism as a whole.
Photograph by Chloe S.
So what can we do to improve things for the next generation of girls with ADHD? If you have ADHD, you have lived experience. I encourage you to push aside any social stigma and to live authentically. Shout about your experiences, blog, host a podcast, advocate, start a support group and campaign for more research to be done.
Your experience is valuable and by spreading awareness you are opening up an opportunity for people to learn. If you live in a borough with inadequate ADHD services write to your MP. If you are a teacher or a parent and you suspect that a child may have some of the symptoms mentioned, then seek further information because the difference you could be making in a young person’s life is immeasurable.
Andryko
Despite this being a lifelong disorder, with the correct treatment you can go on to live a fulfilling and happy life.
Some of the most creative, entrepreneurial and charismatic people I know have ADHD and it is an honour to call them my friends. I speak as one of the women who were failed at the hands of a system that was supposed to protect me.
I have overcome adversity, pain, loss and addiction but I promise, it does get better. After 35 years of masking I will no longer hide in the shadows. I am here, unapologetically to speak out as an advocate for the women who were failed and the next generation of little girls who deserve more time, research and intervention.
C.H.