What if you can't "Mask" as an autistic woman?

There’s a problem.

Articles everywhere are saying autistic women are overlooked because they can “mask.”

They say that women had no idea they were autistic and feel that although they felt different they could get on like everyone else. Then realised that they could do so because they were masking.

Why this narrative is problematic.

Because many many many autistic women - and it goes for many other neurodivergent women under this umbrella of neurodivergence too can’t mask.

Masking assumes that ND women were able to mask and cope and get on with it.

But this is not true for thousands of other autistic and Neurodivergent women who really struggled in school, who were horrifically bullied in school by teachers and pupils alike, in all walks of life, at different employment environments and spaces. at university and all sorts.

Quitting a job you really enjoy because you can’t cope with some tasks that are not necessarily in your job role but are expectations set upon you by neurotypical people.

Being fired or pushed out of a job because although you are meeting all your targets and are probably excelling at your role but… your autistic traits or neurodivergence is causing problems for the neurotypical company or organisation (and usually it’s often only one person there who has taken offence to you) but they experience you as problematic, difficult, wrong, weird, strange.

What would be ABSOLUTELY FINE if it were a man - neurotypical or not - it’s not when you’re a neurodivergent woman or/and autistic woman.

Sometimes just opening your mouth as an autistic women, or neurodivergent woman can cause huge issues. The words might be received completely wrong by other people and you’re shut down, excluded, deliberately misunderstood and then often accused of things that bear no resemblance to your values, thoughts and feelings and this can be traumatising and traumatic.

Why are these narratives harmful?

Because the medical industry wrongly assumes two camps - high functioning and low functioning (which is actually proven to be non-existent and wrong) but anyway - for the purpose of this example, parents who assume their children are low functioning are angry at the neurodiversity movement because they say that “high functioning” autistic people are not experiencing the same barriers that their children are. They perceive the so called (and damaging term) “high functioning” autistics with unease and say that they’re “not really autistic” but just because a so called plopped into the “high functioning camp” autistic woman is seen as “high functioning” - or independent which is probably the better word…

doesn’t mean they’re not suffering.

Just take a look at their medical history of suicide attempt(s), crises, severe chronic illnesses, relapses and often you’ll notice a pattern that they were never coping because they were never able to mask.

They were calling out for help countless of times…. and were not heard, not believed and not trusted.

Whilst the term “masking” might be very helpful for a lot of autistic women and neurodivergent women - and of course everyone should feel empowered to use the words they feel describes their life experience…. we must remember that not every autistic or neurodivergent woman can mask.

So if you’re working with autistic women or neurodivergent women artists….

Don’t assume they can “mask”

Not everyone can. You’ll see that with the way they’re treated by society, by individuals, by other people… colleagues, peers etc.

Their neurodivergent traits are mistaken for personality traits.

So many neurodivergent artists who cannot mask are told they are “unprofessional” and are blamed for their neurodivergent traits.